Burne: "His Most Worshipful Mage of Hommlet" (Seriously! It's in the Adventure!): 8th level magic-user... Burne is on the young side for a magic-user, average in appearance and dress, and will often frequent the Welcome Wench (yeah, total bar fairy)... This NPC is a bit on the greedy side. All services rendered will be paid for handsomely!" (Oh, I bet. Is that a magic-wand in your keenly accessorized waist sash or are you just happy to see me?)

Rufus: 6th level fighter. Equipment: "+1 chain and shield; +1 axe (battle); carnelian scarab...." Another snappy accessorizer, but the stats don't say anything about Rufus's +5 pink leather armor of fabulousness. Can I get an errata check?! It also seems like I'm not the only one to take note of this sassy soldier's gaudy garb "...when he reaches 8th level [Rufus] has been instructed to return to Verbobonc for special service in the Viscount's behalf." Ooooh, this sounds like the royal way of saying "come back and see me sometime, soldier." To get those two levels, though, Rufus isn't taking things lying down... or on second thought, maybe he is: "Rufus leads a squad of men-at-arms and has been appointed as the overall commander of the village troops as well." And we all know nothing torrid ever happens out in the bunkhouse with all the town's best and brightest men in uniform.

But 1979's classic module isn't the only place these heroic hotties appear. In 2001, they have an encore role in Monte Cook's Return to the Temple of Elemental Evil and we find out that times have been good for our boys. Moving into a better castle and having each gone up two levels, "These two essentially run the town. When the old elder passed away, leadership unofficially passed to them by default." It looks like Burne even passed on the Viscount's offer, starting up his own harem—er, group of men-at-arms (and legs, and cute butts too I bet), called Burne's Badger (again, totally serious, it's in the book). "This is a small group of mercenaries whom Burne put on permanent retainer years ago... Their main role is to defend the keep (a duty that they've never actually had to perform), but they also undertake whatever tasks Burne or Rufus assigns them." Oh, I bet they do. So how much do you think it would cost for me to hire a few soldier boys to guard the Gay Gamer Dungeons?

As for their new love nest, they've moved up from a two-story tower to a whole castle, "The donjon has four levels with a grand hall, a feast hall, a huge kitchen, many storerooms, an apartment for Rufus and Burne, a vast library, and guest chambers." One apartment for the two of them. In the whole place. That's so Cute! But just because they're keeping close doesn't mean they don't know how to live large, "In addition to the mercenaries, Burne and Rufus employ eight servants (cooks, housekeepers, and the like), who live in the keep." Yeah, housekeepers, cooks, personal trainers, cabana boys, yardmen, pool boys (What pool you ask?), and stylists I'd wager. Lucky guys.

So there they are, from D&D's earliest days, one of table top gaming's first gay couples, still together after 28 years! While these two seem to keep things pretty low key, maybe in 10 years when we get Return to Return to the Temple of Elemental Evil the adventure will feature a stop in Hommlet during the annual Pride parade.

Even though Rufus and Burne wrap up our list of the Top 10 Gayest Tabletop Characters, if you can think of anyone we skipped be sure to tell us so we can drop in a few special mentions. And special thanks to everyone who posted comments and to all the folks on the Gay Gamer tabletop forum for their encouragement and suggestions!